Slender Man's Journal
by Wandergirl108
Summary: My attempt to write Slender Man mythology from his point of view. He is not malevolent in this story, though not particularly nice, either. General myths, Quantum theory, the Rake, and Proxies are canon for this story; HABIT and anything relating specifically to any events in the web series are not. Rated T because no one younger should be looking up Slender Man anyway.
1. Preface

~The following is a journal of the observations and actions of the creature known as "Slender Man", recorded by said creature~

~The journal was recorded in a language and form very different from anything known to humankind; the author has done her best to transcribe the documents into English~

~Many words in the documents have no true equivalent in any human language; in such cases, the best-fitting word is used and marked with box parentheses~

~A few words in the documents cannot be translated into human language at all; such words appear in the documents as "[untranslatable]"~

~The author would like to reassure any readers of these documents that she is not a Proxy, and has had little actual contact with "Slender Man"~


	2. First Impressions

[Untranslatable] have always known about the fact that many [dimensions] exist other than our own; only recently, however, have we found a way to [travel] between them. I am the first - and so far, only - test subject of this technology, and the [dimension] I have come to is really quite fascinating. I can return home at any time, but I would like to take some time to study this place, as there is no guarantee that I will be allowed to [travel] here again. Being a [scientist], I did come here prepared to [document] my observations, which I will do at frequent intervals.

Upon my arrival in this [dimension], I immediately found some structures that bear some visual similarity to [untranslatable] when we [morph] our appendages into many tendrils, covered in many fragile [wafers]; however, I quickly found that these structures are inanimate, and indeed, may not be alive at all. I would like to note, however, that they vary in size, and some appear to be smaller versions of others, so I hypothesize that these might be a type of [plant]. It will take time to prove or disprove this theory.

After further studying the area I have come to, I have concluded that there are many things in this [dimension] that are very, very small, and I cannot help but wonder if perhaps there may be still smaller things here which are too small to observe without [untranslatable] aid; unfortunately, this is not a theory I can investigate during this visit. The [ground] here appears to be mainly composed of a fine [powder], the composition of which I cannot even begin to guess at. Many small structures - some of which are no more than [untranslatable] high - cover most of the [ground]; if the large structures I noted earlier are indeed a local type of [plant], then these small structures are almost certainly other types of [plants], as they bear similar characteristics - some more than others, and most only in the fragility and [color] of the aforementioned [wafers] covering the larger structures. As for animate things, I have not found any just yet, and in fact have no actual proof that anything in this [dimension] _is_ animate; perhaps everything in this [dimension] is stationary, and what I have mistaken for [plants] are actually [animals]. I will next attempt to get my bearings in this [dimension] by attempting to [traverse] it.

[Traversing] this [dimension] is not noticeably different from [traversing] my own, as the motions I am used to using appear to function perfectly well here. It appears to be virtually impossible to [walk] without making some amount of noise, however. At first, I worried that the fault was mine, but I soon [heard] other, similar sounds that I assume were made by [animals] moving around as well. If these sounds are what I presume them to be, then [animals] in this [dimension] are indeed animate, just as they are in my own [dimension]. I've yet to actually [see] one, however.

After [walking] a bit further, I have [glimpsed] a few creatures which have been quick to flee my presence, and they are _very_ small - the largest I saw was only [untranslatable] in size, which is far smaller than the smallest known species of [animal] in my home [dimension]. They move quite quickly, however, and I was unable to observe much more than their sizes before they were out of sight again. The sizes of these creatures have varied from, again, [untranslatable] at the largest, all the way to [untranslatable] at the smallest - nearly so small as to be impossible to [see]! I'm certain there must be larger [animals] here, as these structures I believe to be [plants] are also relatively large, but I am prepared to be wrong.

I have found something truly fascinating: There appears to be a species of [animal] living in this dimension that is similar to [untranslatable]; at the very least, they bear a somewhat-strong [visual] similarity to us, much more so than these structures I am becoming more and more certain are [plants]. I have only observed them from a far distance, and will not do anything more for now. They are short - no more than [untranslatable] high, at least insofar as I have seen - but what they lack in height, they appear to make up for in width, and I would not be surprised if their weight is almost identical to ours. Like us, they have two [legs] and two [arms], though their movements are stiff and jerky, which I believe may indicate that they are unable to [morph] their appendages as we do. They have [heads], as we do, though many limp appendages that they appear to have no control over sprout from their [skulls]. Their [faces] are extremely distorted, and bear features similar to [untranslatable] - which, if they prove to be similar in function, would greatly contribute to what understanding we might be able to garner about them, as [untranslatable] are also somewhat sapient and can communicate with us. They are covered in strange flaps of what I presume to be [skin], though this [skin] seems strange, somehow. They also appear to communicate through sound, though what little I have [heard] of this communication seems to be almost uniform, so I cannot be certain just yet of how they convey different messages. Overall, they are…fascinating. I would like to know just how similar to us they are; perhaps they are sapient enough for our two [races] to communicate and share knowledge and items. They _do_ appear to use tools, and I believe they may in fact be this [dimension]'s equivalent of us. Of course, their bodies and internal workings may be very different from ours, but…I would very much like to learn more about them. I believe I have found a significant argument in favor of making return trips to this [dimension]. I will return home now, and see what my fellow [untranslatable] make of my findings.


	3. New Job

Upon returning to my own [dimension], it was discovered that what a few [scientists] theorized is in fact true, and [traveling] between [dimensions] so [warps the space-time continuum] that I was able to return just [moments] after I had left, though I'm sure I spent at least [untranslatable] in the new [dimension]. It remains to be determined if this will impact my aging relative to my [dimension] or not, but, with improvements in our technology, I might eventually be able to [travel] there and back for extended periods of time at the same time, making me almost omnipotent in that [dimension].

And it has been confirmed that I _will_ return. All of my people are intrigued by my descriptions of the strange creatures, and agree that the creatures are worth studying. I happily volunteered to be the one to study them, and was quickly granted my request. Come what may, I am the one who will conduct all studies on the creatures, and I am very much looking forward to the time when I return and can study them more closely.

For now, I will contemplate exactly how I should go about my observations. If these creatures _are_ sapient, they will certainly fear the sight of me initially - I know _we_ would certainly be fearful if a member of a [race] belonging to another [dimension] came to _our_ [dimension]. The difference is, if these creatures are _not_ sapient, despite their similarities in [appearance] to us, there will be no way to assuage their fears, as they will be literally impossible to reason with. Either way, my presence will certainly be met with fear by these creatures, even if only at first. I should study them from a distance, unseen, until I can find a way to appear less frightening to them, or until I can understand their language. The strange skin flaps I observed are where I should probably start, as far as seeming less frightening goes; we [untranslatable] can [morph] our bodies at will, so perhaps I could imitate the strange [skin] using my own [flesh]. I will need to study this trait far more thoroughly, however - there _was_ something strange about it, though I can't quite say what just yet.

Also, before I return, I ought to speak with a [untranslatable] in order to refresh my memory regarding the functions of their [facial] features. There may be other things about [untranslatable] that will prove useful in my studies as well - I don't have enough information yet to be certain.

Regardless of what may happen, I will continue to [journal] all my observations and interactions with these creatures, whatever they may be.


	4. The First Experiment

I have returned, and begin my [documentation] of this excursion with the note that, as of now, the location of where I arrive in this [dimension] appears to be consistent. There is no telling just how large this [dimension] may be, however - in fact, I don't know if it has any boundaries at all. That is something to be determined by other [scientists] back in my own [dimension], however, as is finding a way to [travel] to many different places in this [dimension]; for now, I'll begin my true study of the strange creatures from here.

~X~

~From this point onward, summaries of important discoveries, interactions, and observations replace the original, detailed entries, so as to avoid redundancy~

~These summaries have also been made by "Slender Man", and are not the author's attempt to summarize the entries herself~

~X~

After [untranslatable] of [observing] the strange creatures from a distance, I am fairly certain of two things:

One is that the creatures communicate through sound; however, all the noises they make [sound] the same to me, so I am not certain that they use a true [language]. If, on the other hand, the sounds they make vary in frequency to many small degrees, it may be that I'm simply unable to [hear] what they [hear]. I might need to bring a [untranslatable] to this [dimension] with me at some point in the future in order to be sure, as [untranslatable] are able to [hear] the smallest changes in sound frequencies.

The other thing I feel quite certain of is that the strange external [skin] flaps I noted earlier have a purpose in [visual] communication. The exact [appearance] of these [skin] flaps vary between any two individuals, but I've noticed several distinct patterns; and, after careful [watching] these creatures for [untranslatable], I have determined that the different patterns indicate where an individual stands in these creatures' social hierarchy. My [flesh] easily takes on the appearances of all the patterns, and I now intend to perform an experiment that will indicate, if not prove, whether or not these creatures are indeed sapient. If I take on the appearance of bearing one of the patterns that indicates that I am to be respected, then allow myself to be [seen] by one of them, the reaction will be highly informative. If they are not sapient, I should be able to fool them into believing that I am one of them; if they _are_ sapient, the pattern will be far from enough to prevent panic.

I will first [show] myself with my body [morphed] into many tendrils, to test these creatures' ability to notice things that are out-of-place. Once that's done, I will again [show] myself, this time making my appearance as similar to theirs as possible. If I _can_ fool them, the second test is most likely to do it; if it does not, it will be indicative of the creatures being sapient. It will not be conclusive, but it _will_ be strong evidence.

~o~

The results of the first experiment are as I anticipated: The individual creature I [showed] myself to had a strong fear reaction to my presence. I also noticed something interesting: The creature's exclamations of fear did not [sound] any different from the other noises I have [heard] these creatures make. This is a highly unlikely scenario, and tells me that their vocalizations probably only vary in frequency very slightly, and that they are likewise designed to pick up on such small variances. I most likely _will_ have to bring a [untranslatable] to this [dimension] with me sooner or later. I'd like to put that off as long as possible, though, since [untranslatable] are a mischievous race.

I am very excited about the results of the second experiment. I [morphed] myself to [look] as much like one of these creatures as possible - I had no [morphed] appendages, and I worked to make myself as short as I could be. I still towered over these creatures, but not terribly so. The results were exactly the same as those of the first experiment: The individual I [showed] myself to had a strong fear reaction to my presence. There was a brief amount of time where the individual held completely still and silent before [exclaiming] and [running] from me; I am not sure if that means it was more or less frightened than the one in the first experiment. Either way, the fear reaction was very strong.

Of course, these experiments don't conclusively prove anything. However, they do strongly _indicate_ that these creatures are indeed sapient. I will return to my own [dimension] to share my results with my fellow [untranslatable], then return here and continue to study these creatures.


	5. A Grave Mistake

I have made a great discovery. However, in doing so, I have also made a terrible mistake.

I returned to this [dimension] after sharing the results of my previous experiment with my fellow [untranslatable], and continued [observing] these creatures whom I am fairly certain are sapient. After [untranslatable], I started to feel as though I was obtaining no new data, and I decided to try to take a closer [look] at one of these creatures. I know now that it was a mistake, but it seemed reasonable [at the time].

I found an individual [walking] alone one [night], and I [showed] myself to it. It was very frightened, of course, so I reached out to it, hoping to show it that I meant no harm. It would seem that I have some sort of hypnotic effect on these creatures, however; the creature [walked] right into my [arms], but was still clearly very terrified. I have no theories as to how this might be; I will need to investigate further. At any rate, the creature struggled once I got [ahold] of it, again making [exclamations] that I am certain are meant to communicate fear.

I only wanted to take a closer [look] at the creature, not hurt it. I couldn't [see] any details while fighting to maintain my [grip] on it, though, so to hold it still, I [impaled] it on an appendage of one of the [plants] that [look] like me. In doing so, I made both a discovery and a mistake: It turns out, these creatures' bodies are extremely frail - the creature died within [untranslatable].

The noises the individual made became much louder after I impaled it, which was only to be expected; I knew it would cause the creature discomfort. I had no idea, however, that the creature was so fragile. When it stopped moving, I was confused for [untranslatable] before realizing that it was dead.

This is a terrible error on my part. What's more, I'm still not entirely sure exactly how it died.

I did make the most of the situation, though. Given that I had a newly-dead specimen, I decided to take it apart, hoping to understand more about these creatures' body structures.

First of all, it turns out I was right to think that there was something strange about these creatures' external [skin] flaps. It turns out, they are not [skin] at all, but made of an entirely separate material and in no way attached to the creatures' bodies; or at least, such was the case with this particular specimen. If this is, in fact, the case with _all_ of these creatures, then it further indicates that these creatures are sapient - for if it is, it means that they seek out these materials and create these external coverings specifically for the sake of the visual communication I noted earlier in my [observations].

Working past the outermost layer and into the actual body, I also discovered several reasons why these creatures move so stiffly. First of all, the [flesh] that is visible on the surface is in fact a thin, fragile coating that does not [stretch] particularly well. Just beneath that are several more layers of [flesh], the exact purposes of which I've yet to determine. In the case of the appendages, these [flesh] layers compose the majority of the body. Second, at the core of each appendage, there is a very stiff, brittle core that does not allow for any sort of movement. In the places where these creatures _can_ [bend] their appendages, two of these core [organs] are joined together in such a way that certain movements are allowed. This is the case throughout the entire body, including the head and torso as well - in fact, this central structure appears to give these creatures their overall [shape] and support their entire bodies.

Inside the torso, I discovered something else between the layers of [flesh] and the core - or, to be more accurate, _many_ things. Many chunks of [flesh], each clearly sectioned off, compose the majority of the torso. I removed them one at a time to [observe] them further; in most cases, each separate piece was unique, though there were some that had duplicates in such a way that the inside of the body had an amount of lateral symmetry. I believe these things are all [organs] that perform specific vital or semi-vital functions inside these creatures' bodies. I made careful note of the location of each [organ] as I removed them, and I sealed them all in [untranslatable] so that I could set them down without contaminating them. I can only hazard a guess at the functions of a few of these [organs]; this is unlike the body structures of any creatures in my home [dimension], and I find it very fascinating. I took a close look at each of the [organs] before reassembling them inside the torso as I had found them, hoping to better determine what some of their functions might be, with limited success.

As was the case with the appendages, the stiff, brittle core [organs] appear to support and [shape] the torso. Surrounding many of the [fleshy] [organs] was an almost cage-like structure made of these core [organs], and the bottom of the torso ended in a base made of the brittle material that was shaped almost as though to [cup] the [fleshy] [organs], supporting them from below. Towards the rear of the torso was a pillar of many thick disks of these brittle [organs], arranged and connected in such a way as to give the illusion of flexibility from the outside.

Lastly, the head appeared to be a solid block of the brittle core material underneath a thin layer of [flesh]. The appendages coming out of the top of the head turned out to be entirely limp and composed of many tiny strands upon further inspection, so it's likely that these creatures cannot move those appendages at will, which makes me wonder what their purpose is, and even whether or not they have one.

Having [dissected] the creature as thoroughly as I could, I left it on the [plant] for its fellows to find. I know they will be very frightened, but part of being sapient is the ability to recognize - and, to some degree, understand - death, so it's likely that this creature's fellows will want to mourn it, and I have no right to obstruct this.

What concerns me the most right now is exactly _how_ the creature died. I realize that its body was extremely frail - unlike mine, which, like the bodies of all [untranslatable], is extremely malleable - but what exactly caused the creature's death is something I am not certain of. It is possible that I may have to repeat the process - perhaps even many times - in order to gain a better understanding of what happened, but I am loathe to kill more of these creatures, especially if they _are_ sapient. [On the other hand], sometimes sacrifices must be made for the sake of [science], and I _do_ want to understand how these creatures work as best as I can.

For now, I will return to my home [dimension] again and share my findings. Whether or not I repeat the process is something I will discuss with my fellow [untranslatable] before I return again.


	6. The Rake

After [untranslatable], it is with great relief that I report that I cannot possibly learn anything more about these creatures through dissection. It cost the lives of far too many of them, and the worst part is that I had no way of numbing the pain I caused them…but I am finished now.

I also took the liberty of dissecting a few other [animals] from this [dimension] on a hunch, and I discovered that the numerous brittle and [fleshy] [organs] that the creatures of my study possess is common to most all [animals] in this [dimension]; perhaps something about the physics here make such anatomical constructs optimal? Regardless, what I learned about the various functions and operations of these creatures' bodies, I have recorded in detail in previous [entries]; I've no wish to go over them a second time.

That's one atrocity done with, but now, I am faced with the possibility of another. There is, without any doubt, only one way to determine whether or not these creatures use a true [language]: I must enlist the aid of a [untranslatable]. They are mischievous, malevolent beings, however, and I cannot be certain that I will be able to prevent any harm coming to these creatures [at the hands of] whoever I bring with me.

Out of necessity, I have already chosen my companion. His name is [untranslatable - sounds like "Rake"]. He's not particularly exceptional as far as his kind go, which is really just as well - an exceptionally clever [untranslatable] would inevitably cause no end of trouble. Because I can [untranslatable], I have a limited amount of control over him, but I will not be able to avoid mishaps without some amount of honorability on his part, and that is something _all_ [untranslatable] know to _never_ expect of a [untranslatable]. Still, I hope I can prevent too much harm from being done - if I can ensure a net gain, any problems that may occur will be worth the trouble, I hope.

~o~

[Rake] has proven useful so far; he only had to [listen] to the creatures of my study for [untranslatable] before determining that they do in fact use a [language] - as I suspected, they are only capable of producing sounds of a limited frequency, and are more sensitive to small changes in frequency to compensate. [Rake] says he thinks he can figure out their [language] without too much trouble; [untranslatable] from now, he might be able to communicate with these people (I will have to remember to [call] them "people" from now on, as they are certainly sapient).

This is more than I dared hope for, and I can't help but be a bit apprehensive about how cooperative [Rake] is being. I know from my own experiments just how fragile these people are, and the sort of prank typical of [untranslatable] would certainly prove fatal to any of them - possibly to several at once. Still, if I can find a way to communicate with these people, it would be an invaluable development. I suppose time will tell.

~o~

[Rake] managed to contact one of the people [today]. He told me that he only asked the person and its family to leave the area - which they certainly did, and quickly. I cannot help but be suspicious of [Rake]'s methods, though; the people seemed very distressed. I can't be sure, of course, but [Rake] also seemed amused by how they reacted…I will need to [watch] him carefully. Still, it would certainly seem that he has learned these people's [language]; the fact that he was able to communicate with them successfully bodes well for the future.

I wish I could be present when [Rake] communicates with these people; however, I fear I might have a reputation among them. I've killed enough of them that it's best that I stay back, at least for the time being. [On the other hand], [Rake] could potentially be very dangerous, and I don't know if I can trust him to behave if I stay behind when he contacts these people.

Oh well. No harm has been done yet. If worst comes to worst, I can always [untranslatable] [Rake] to make him retreat to me…I just hope that, if I do have to go to that length, I'll be able to recognize the situation and act _before_ anyone gets hurt.

~o~

[Rake] has determined that there are actually a variety of [languages] among these people, possibly determined by location. I confess I have more or less allowed him to run amok. He has been careful not to be noticed by crowds of people - he only contacts them when they are at rest, which they generally seem to do either alone or with their mates and/or children. With the advances in technology that have been happening since my studies began, [Rake] and I have been able to travel to various places across this [dimension], and he has met people everywhere we've gone. The people he's been contacting, however, have _all_ seemed very distressed. I cannot be sure, since, unlike [Rake], I cannot understand their [language], but their behavior appears to have changed, and consistently so. I think there might be something about these people that [Rake] has figured out but is not telling me.

To prevent too widespread a panic, I think I'll keep our excursions in this [dimension] restricted to a small area from now on, or at least until I determine what exactly [Rake] is doing. I fear I will regret continuing to enlist [Rake]'s help, but after all the sacrifices I've already made for the sake of studying these people, I suppose it's too late to become cautious now.

~o~

The issues with [Rake] have started to escalate. One of the people I've had him contact died today. He didn't harm it personally - it killed itself - but I highly doubt he is blameless, as he seemed very amused by its death. He has told me that he did not do or say anything to intentionally drive this person to end its own life, and because I can [untranslatable], I know he is not lying, but I can't help but think he's not being _completely_ honest, either. His kind are a wicked, mischievous people, and I'm beginning to think that I don't know as much about his kind as I need to in order to prevent further casualties.

~o~

Things have officially gone too far.

[Rake] has been contacting a number of people in the area I decided to settle my work with him in of late, and I now get the feeling he has been using these opportunities to torment them. Most recently, his interaction with a certain family escalated to disastrous proportions. I'm not entirely sure what transpired; all I know is that, at one point, I heard one of the people in their dwelling make a vocalization. I couldn't understand the meaning, of course, but I worried that it was a bad sign, and after a moment's consideration, I [untranslatable] [Rake] to get him away from them.

I was too slow to act. By the time he returned to me, he was covered in a fluid that I am all too familiar with - it is a sort of physical manifestation of life force for these people. I forced him to confess to attacking one of the juveniles of the family, though he insisted he didn't kill it. Still, I was worried, and I [watched] the family for a while after. It's fortunate that I did; one of the adults tried to take the injured child somewhere - presumably to get help - and the [machine] that it used to quickly ferry the child fell into a large body of liquid. When that happened, [Rake] started [laughing], and I knew the adult and child were both dead.

I forced him to tell me what he did, and it seems that he tricked the adult into the suicide. When I asked him how he did this, he answered, "You think your kind are the only ones with the ability to [untranslatable]?" The truth is, I had formerly believed [untranslatable] to be beyond the ability of [Rake]'s kind; having been proved wrong, I realize now that I made a terrible mistake in bringing [Rake] here. This sort of prank is typical of [untranslatable], and I should have expected it, but I didn't realize just how vulnerable these people would be to [Rake]'s antics.

I can't bring [Rake] with me to this [dimension] ever again - it's too great a risk. I may well have to entirely give up any hopes of ever being able to communicate with these people. Sadly, it seems that I am to be the bane of these people's existence…I hope I can change things for the better at some point in the future, but so far, every attempt I have made to better understand these people has resulted in tragedy. Whatever happens next, though, will happen _without_ [Rake] - neither he nor any of his kind will ever be allowed into this [dimension] again.


	7. Case Studies

Without [Rake], I have no means of communicating with the people of this strange [dimension]. Still, I hope to learn what I can about them, so that I might learn _from_ them, as I've always hoped to do. I've decided that the best option, for now, is to [observe] case studies. I'll find a young child and observe it from a distance through to its adulthood.

~o~

The child I chose to make a case study of is, I believe, [female]. I've yet to make any great discoveries, but [watching] [her] has proved interesting thus far, if nothing else.

After [untranslatable], however, I'm beginning to get the feeling that I did not choose an ideal specimen for my case study - [she] seems withdrawn, and [her] behavior appears to be erratic in such a way as to cause [her] parents some amount of distress. I also get the sense that [she] is unwell, though I've yet to confirm it. Perhaps it's nothing. I will continue [watching].

~o~

I am very certain that the child I chose to study is ill. [She] is fussed over by [her] parents and seemingly forced to rest [indoors] for significant periods of [time], and more than once, I have seen [her] expel the fluid that somehow represents the life force of [her] kind from some of the smaller holes in [her] [face]. Any time that fluid spills out of one of these people, it is a very bad sign - I've learned this well.

I'm beginning to believe that I made a poor choice in my selection. Still, I have studied this child for [untranslatable] now, and it may be informative for me to [see] what this illness culminates into (it has been increasingly severe thus far) and, if applicable, how long it takes for [her] to recover.

~o~

Things have gone very awry: My case study has [seen] me.

Due to [her] increasingly long amounts of [time] at rest indoors, I've been forced to forsake the [forest] surrounding the [building] in which [she] dwells - which is where I can hide most easily - and approach the area of [her] rest to an uncomfortable [distance]. While I [blend in] very well among the [plants] that resemble me, I am more conspicuous when out in the open, I'm fully aware of that, but it was necessary. However, the child chanced to turn her [gaze] in my direction through a transparent panel in the [wall] of the [building] while I was [observing] [her], and [she] immediately made a very loud vocalization of extreme distress. Knowing that [her] parents would soon come to [see] what was the matter, I immediately left that [dimension] and returned to my home [dimension] before any others could [see] me, and before I was [visible] to the child for so long that [she] could become certain that [she] actually did [see] me.

This is a problem. Ideally, in a situation such as this, a case study should be unaware that it is being observed. I hope the damage is minimal.

~o~

My case study has become _very_ ill since [her] encounter with me. [Her] confined rest appears to no longer be forced, and based on what I've [observed], [she] is being afflicted with various pains throughout [her] entire body. I've also seen [her] lose some of that strange life-force fluid through what I'm fairly certain are a pair of some type of sensory [organ] in [her] [face], though not much. [She] is [indoors] continuously, with no [time] spent [outside] of [her] resting area whatsoever, forcing me to [observe] [her] at an uncomfortably close [distance] through the [transparent] [panel] in the [wall]. Despite my best efforts, I fear that [she] has [seen] me at least two more times since the first; the distress caused by the [sight] of me seems to be aggravating [her] condition even further. I am almost certain that [she] will die very soon…I made a mistake in choosing [her] for a case study, but I might as well [see it through].

~o~

My case study's condition worsened severely…I [saw] [her] expel, not only the life-force liquid, but other liquids of various [colors], from [her] mouth - which, as with [untranslatable], is _not_ meant for any sort of excretion. [She] also frequently made violent movements which, from what I was able to [observe], I don't believe were voluntary, and I also got the sense that several of [her] vital [bodily] functions were becoming difficult to perform. Even knowing as little as I know about these people, I could tell that [she] was in a great amount of pain, and after [watching] for [untranslatable], I became certain that [she] would not recover.

So I killed [her]. I didn't want to, but I've killed many of these people under far less reasonable conditions…There was no point in letting [her] suffer - I'd learned all I could. I [untranslatable] [inside] to [her]…[She] was not at rest - perhaps [she] was too ill to do so - and she was very distressed at the [sight] of me, as always. I know how frail these people are, and it stood to reason that children would be even more so, but I couldn't bear to force [her] to watch me, nor to [listen] to [her] vocalizations, so I [morphed] my body to engulf [her], then crushed [her] as quickly as I could.

I realized that it would be easy to determine that [her] death was inflicted by an external force due to the appearance of [her] remains, so I couldn't leave [her] body where it was. I decided to bring it home with me if possible (which it turned out to be), and perhaps study it with some other [untranslatable]…I hope to be able to determine what ailed [her], but at the very least, many [untranslatable] have been wanting to [see] one of these people for a long time, and I ought to share what I can.

After everyone is finished with [her] remains, I will return and choose another child to make a case study of. I hope it will not be ill as my first one was.

~o~

After taking on multiple case studies - both [male] and [female] (it seems these people only have two [genders]) - and [watching] all of them become ill and die in exactly the same manner as my first case study did, I've been forced to come to one of three conclusions: One possibility is that I am extremely unfortunate in my selection of case studies, and another is that I am somehow drawn to those who will become ill and die; the most likely possibility, however, based on my past experiences, is that I am somehow the _cause_ of whatever this illness is that befalls my case studies. I try to keep [a good distance away] from them, so I'm not sure how this could be, but every single case has been identical, which reduces the likelihood of it being coincidence to virtually zero.

Something about the people of this [dimension] and the people of my own [dimension] makes us incompatible, somehow…I only wish I could understand _why_…


End file.
